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[12 of 01] |
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last night i dreamt and it was like a film,alot of dramatic-music-playing-slow motion-jumping around parts it was like a surreal pysch wardee's escape,my friend and I went running around the whole town trying to 'save' people from these horrible events that kept happening,one girl's face half burnt,another mans skin pulled like taffy by some sort of sticky bubblegum monster, and at the end we were smiling and skipped back to this office/ward place and saw all the people there embracing each other with their disfigurements,smirking and an air of accomplishment,like a 'all things went according to plan',when my friend turned and told me they wanted to be like that,and we helped them
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[23 of 12] |
introduction to words, we met them and what and and and quickly got tired of each other she he it and they,when,how,yes,no, made their rounds each time,my tongue got thicker with each syllable,until i let my teeth sit and pulled my hair until i was alone again only an hour it only took one hour for me to speak,and only an hour for me to decide not to speak,for a good long time
last night i dreamt i kept going under a boardwalk and a man gave me a treasure each time,so tomorrow,i will let the air into my ears and find my boardwalk and find my treasures and if the man isnt there i will make my own and my own treasures and in this way it could make my hands work again and if i cant feel anything now at least i will feel my hands raw and cold in the water
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[16 of 12] |
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mood |
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AGUHUGH |
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music |
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ANGER |
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i can't paint real stuff and IT PISSES ME OFF i just destroyed all of my paintbrushes and attempted to break a canvas in half (in didnt work)
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[09 of 12] |
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mood |
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pain |
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music |
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broadcast forever |
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diving into the loopy spectrum sea trenches,learning russian it is so beautiful and strange, my entire skin feels like beeswaxx and someone churns butter last night i went to an aztec forest fountain & i hope it was heaven dont worry australia i am using your iceberg as my diamoned eye to cool off the strain
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[04 of 12] |
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mood |
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confused |
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i knew this time was coming,where my thirst for knowledge would uproot,but it is confusing - overwhelming i don't know if i can get a scholarship for college out of state,i read over and all of these letters bubble up and melt and leave my eyes rice porridge,espeically for someone with only a GED and then i get carried away,thinking about studying abroad,pufffff oh well,in the meantine,i will teach myself russian & bottle-feed my baby pig
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[30 of 11] |
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doctor called back to tell me what i already knew,pain is still there,lets just put you on medicine instead of figuring out the initial cause hopeless feelings
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| smitten |
[22 of 11] |
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mood |
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pleased |
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music |
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moms funny old country cd's |
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my little Parsnip baby wanting to be a farm girl with overall dress & lemonade so much & doctor found lots of peculiar things of my stomach,rivers of bile and little volcano holes oooh
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| CAR MISSions |
[25 of 08] |
 CAR MISSions Originally uploaded by catpillow
eex posted on flickr,doing that silly art-for money business fancy pants. I am kicking myself for asking,but I guess the time had to come eventually HUH.
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[20 of 07] |

listening to Interpol so much time later drags me down somewhere strange
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[11 of 07] |

bluebird died,he liked to drink from glasses so i left them,one was too shallow and he fell in and drowned i buried him with his favorite plastic grasshopper he carried around,and in my favorite hanky
i think of getting a parrot, i wonder how this makes me feel?
why does it feel so bad to replace something you loved,hoping to love it with the same and back? keep tucking my head in everytime,all of these lost loves and new pennies,is it still a true feeling when you do that? i wouldent know yet,but i see it with others and i cringe,i feel bad that one heart is clouded and the other thinks its pure maple syrup? mom says you use them as distractions and then love,is that really fair though
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[01 of 07] |
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mood |
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lemonly |
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music |
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cat food |
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I caught myself getting into fashion again,lace and funny fur collars and flowery wigs and lipstick i like bones and dirt and pit hair too
gainesville for three weeks on sunday i don't really know anyone there,maybe I'll walk around and meet some cats and bats and ducks and mucks i want to make bed forts for everyone i meet with little paper moons and stars i think everyone should have that
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| worms in these cabbage |
[18 of 06] |
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mood |
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moon pull tide |
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music |
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faure les berceaux |
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 when i am so tired or so sad,i like putting little clips and bits of sounds and name it after the incident,todays was post office blues stuck my last feather in your box and trotted off i still love you,and you even if you weren't wearing the necklace i made,,
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[07 of 06] |
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mood |
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calm |
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i love it when my menstruation cycle starts on a full moon
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